The Merkel Family: "It's not about the goodies..."

Stasa started telling us early last week how Easter isn't all about the goodies and eggs, that it's about Jesus. I'm glad she's realizing that holidays aren't all about presents and material goods. It's actually something we say for most things. Material things, while we have many, aren't that important. We talk about that when we go over our safety plan for fire or other emergencies. People are important. Not toys. Not things.

Unfortunately, it's a very hard thing to remember when your sister is getting birthday presents that you want for yourself. Even if you did have over 20 friends at your party (which equates to A LOT of presents). Always wanting what you don't have. Yet another lesson we're always trying to drive home - don't worry about what other people have, be happy with what you have. Share. Respect each other. Be kind.

This weekend we decided to brave the Easter vigil mass at 8:00 PM rather than face the crowds of people in the morning. We expected to have standing room only, so we got there a half an hour early to get a seat and were surprised to find the church mostly empty. Even as mass started there were still plenty of open seats. Even so, we opted to sit in the cry room, something we only do if the kids are misbehaving. But given the hour it was a crapshoot, so the cry room was our best bet...which would up being unnecessary. The girls were very interested in the holy fire and the lighting of the candles and held theirs very carefully. Tommy had a death grip on his (with my hand over it) and kept saying "light, mommy, light!" After about the second of five readings, the girls curled up on the chairs under our jackets and fell asleep. I thought Tommy would for sure fall asleep given the time, but nope. He was in it for the long haul and started getting a little goofy - quiet, but goofy. We've tried a vigil mass in the past when the girls were younger and I think we left right before the gospel reading (about an hour and a half in) because they had reached their limit. This year thanks to them sleeping we made it through the entire mass in peace.

Of course, that meant we got home on the late side and everyone went to bed later than normal. Tom even commented that maybe that meant the kids would sleep in for us. Yeah, right. Stasa was up and in my face first thing in the morning, sad because the Easter bunny hadn't come. (Remember how she lectured us about Easter not being about the goodies? Yeah, that was a lesson quickly forgotten.) I asked if she was sure, and she said she had looked out her window and didn't see any eggs, so she assumed that the bunny forgot about us. I suggested she go play and let us wake up a bit and not two minutes later she came sprinting back into our room yelling "THE BUNNY DID COME! HE DID!" She spied their Easter baskets from the top of the stairs. Holidays with kids will never get old.

Our bunny didn't bring a ton of candy this year and instead brought snacks like pop tarts (hey, it's breakfast food), pudding pouches and these chocolate milk straws. As they were plowing through their baskets, Tom asked Stasa to check if the mailman left anything by the door. She got up to check (not realizing that mail doesn't come on Sundays) and ran back shouting that there were eggs out there! So we got our shoes and jackets on over our jammies and ran out to search for eggs. Stasa's really quick and we had to remind her to let Lexi and Tommy a chance to get some of the eggs. Tommy happily wandered around and got really excited every time he found an egg on his own. Our eggs always contain money and the kids sorted their coins once we were back in. I think Stasa found all the eggs with dollar bills and wound up with a total of just over $5 in change while Lexi had just over $3 and Tommy got about $2.

After a quick nap it was time to head over to have dinner with the family. Since we didn't have a family party for Lexi, she got some birthday gifts while we were there. Grandma got her two new Lalaloopsy dolls with long hair and Uncle Pat and Mimi got her some fun and fancy dress ups and boas. Now, as soon as Lexi opened the Lalaloopsy dolls (there were two) she immediately turned to Stasa and said "you can play with this one" and handed her a doll. So thoughtful and kind. But as the day wore on Lexi decided that she wanted to play with both of her Lalaloopsy dolls by herself. When she asked Stasa for it Stasa broke down crying because life just isn't fair. And this mini meltdown over these dolls went on throughout the evening and night as she begged to have one of them.

I find this so interesting since as the oldest child Stasa usually gets the newest of everything and Lexi as number two gets a lot of hand-me-downs. Nearly all of Lexi's closet is hand-me-downs from Stasa and yet she's THRILLED with them because they're new to her. Most of their toys are shared between the three of them and usually they're okay with that. As I stated earlier, almost all of Stasa's class came to her birthday party. Over 20 kids. That's a lot of gifts. And Lexi sat patiently and watched Stasa open each and every one and not once complained that she didn't have any nor did she cry. She just accepted that these were Stasa's gifts and was happy with whatever little things Stasa let her play with.

I often feel like a broken record when it comes to parenting.
"Please get your shoes on."
"Clean up your mess."
"Don't pick your nose and eat it."
"Brush your teeth."
"Be nice to each other."
"Wash your hands!"

And on and on. But reminding Stasa to be happy for her sister is a hard one. Stasa's had so much time in the spotlight this year with starting kindergarten, learning to read, performing in school plays, starting Girl Scouts, losing teeth...and Lexi has been watching all of this from the sidelines. It's Lexi's turn. She just started Pre-K a half a year early (which will be GREAT for her) and we're really playing that up. And she turned four and is now able to write her name by herself. All big things. So we find ourselves reminding Stasa that we need to let Lexi have her turn and to be happy when people gift her things and to be even more grateful when Lexi shares her things with her. And really, that material things aren't important. It's easy to preach to others that "it's not all about the goodies," but it's a hard pill to swallow when it's turned back on you. Stasa will get there eventually.