"It's not about the goodies..."

Stasa started telling us early last week how Easter isn't all about the goodies and eggs, that it's about Jesus. I'm glad she's realizing that holidays aren't all about presents and material goods. It's actually something we say for most things. Material things, while we have many, aren't that important. We talk about that when we go over our safety plan for fire or other emergencies. People are important. Not toys. Not things.

Unfortunately, it's a very hard thing to remember when your sister is getting birthday presents that you want for yourself. Even if you did have over 20 friends at your party (which equates to A LOT of presents). Always wanting what you don't have. Yet another lesson we're always trying to drive home - don't worry about what other people have, be happy with what you have. Share. Respect each other. Be kind.

This weekend we decided to brave the Easter vigil mass at 8:00 PM rather than face the crowds of people in the morning. We expected to have standing room only, so we got there a half an hour early to get a seat and were surprised to find the church mostly empty. Even as mass started there were still plenty of open seats. Even so, we opted to sit in the cry room, something we only do if the kids are misbehaving. But given the hour it was a crapshoot, so the cry room was our best bet...which would up being unnecessary. The girls were very interested in the holy fire and the lighting of the candles and held theirs very carefully. Tommy had a death grip on his (with my hand over it) and kept saying "light, mommy, light!" After about the second of five readings, the girls curled up on the chairs under our jackets and fell asleep. I thought Tommy would for sure fall asleep given the time, but nope. He was in it for the long haul and started getting a little goofy - quiet, but goofy. We've tried a vigil mass in the past when the girls were younger and I think we left right before the gospel reading (about an hour and a half in) because they had reached their limit. This year thanks to them sleeping we made it through the entire mass in peace.

Of course, that meant we got home on the late side and everyone went to bed later than normal. Tom even commented that maybe that meant the kids would sleep in for us. Yeah, right. Stasa was up and in my face first thing in the morning, sad because the Easter bunny hadn't come. (Remember how she lectured us about Easter not being about the goodies? Yeah, that was a lesson quickly forgotten.) I asked if she was sure, and she said she had looked out her window and didn't see any eggs, so she assumed that the bunny forgot about us. I suggested she go play and let us wake up a bit and not two minutes later she came sprinting back into our room yelling "THE BUNNY DID COME! HE DID!" She spied their Easter baskets from the top of the stairs. Holidays with kids will never get old.

Our bunny didn't bring a ton of candy this year and instead brought snacks like pop tarts (hey, it's breakfast food), pudding pouches and these chocolate milk straws. As they were plowing through their baskets, Tom asked Stasa to check if the mailman left anything by the door. She got up to check (not realizing that mail doesn't come on Sundays) and ran back shouting that there were eggs out there! So we got our shoes and jackets on over our jammies and ran out to search for eggs. Stasa's really quick and we had to remind her to let Lexi and Tommy a chance to get some of the eggs. Tommy happily wandered around and got really excited every time he found an egg on his own. Our eggs always contain money and the kids sorted their coins once we were back in. I think Stasa found all the eggs with dollar bills and wound up with a total of just over $5 in change while Lexi had just over $3 and Tommy got about $2.

After a quick nap it was time to head over to have dinner with the family. Since we didn't have a family party for Lexi, she got some birthday gifts while we were there. Grandma got her two new Lalaloopsy dolls with long hair and Uncle Pat and Mimi got her some fun and fancy dress ups and boas. Now, as soon as Lexi opened the Lalaloopsy dolls (there were two) she immediately turned to Stasa and said "you can play with this one" and handed her a doll. So thoughtful and kind. But as the day wore on Lexi decided that she wanted to play with both of her Lalaloopsy dolls by herself. When she asked Stasa for it Stasa broke down crying because life just isn't fair. And this mini meltdown over these dolls went on throughout the evening and night as she begged to have one of them.

I find this so interesting since as the oldest child Stasa usually gets the newest of everything and Lexi as number two gets a lot of hand-me-downs. Nearly all of Lexi's closet is hand-me-downs from Stasa and yet she's THRILLED with them because they're new to her. Most of their toys are shared between the three of them and usually they're okay with that. As I stated earlier, almost all of Stasa's class came to her birthday party. Over 20 kids. That's a lot of gifts. And Lexi sat patiently and watched Stasa open each and every one and not once complained that she didn't have any nor did she cry. She just accepted that these were Stasa's gifts and was happy with whatever little things Stasa let her play with.

I often feel like a broken record when it comes to parenting.
"Please get your shoes on."
"Clean up your mess."
"Don't pick your nose and eat it."
"Brush your teeth."
"Be nice to each other."
"Wash your hands!"

And on and on. But reminding Stasa to be happy for her sister is a hard one. Stasa's had so much time in the spotlight this year with starting kindergarten, learning to read, performing in school plays, starting Girl Scouts, losing teeth...and Lexi has been watching all of this from the sidelines. It's Lexi's turn. She just started Pre-K a half a year early (which will be GREAT for her) and we're really playing that up. And she turned four and is now able to write her name by herself. All big things. So we find ourselves reminding Stasa that we need to let Lexi have her turn and to be happy when people gift her things and to be even more grateful when Lexi shares her things with her. And really, that material things aren't important. It's easy to preach to others that "it's not all about the goodies," but it's a hard pill to swallow when it's turned back on you. Stasa will get there eventually.





Life is hard when your parents play outside with you and bring out the kites on a windy day.


And it's even harder when your parents won't let you whack your sisters with your toy golf clubs.

Attention seekers

The girls have done remarkably well with the addition of another sibling, but recently they've both started acting out a bit for extra attention. Lexi's been the worst.

The other night while I was making dinner and Tom was simultaneously taking care of Tommy and negotiating with someone from Craigslist, Lexi came downstairs hands out saying "Mommy, I all dirty!" I looked down and there she was hands all covered in black with a black goatee on her face. I initially thought "Crap. Marker." Nope. Expensive mascara. I suppose I should have told her not to get into my makeup. Lesson learned. I got her cleaned up and went back to making dinner. Not five minutes later she came back downstairs. "Mommy, I all dirty!" This time I could smell her when she walked in. Nail polish. Mint green nail polish. On her, my bureau, my bedroom carpet. So, I clean that up with acetone and tell her to stay out of my room. Then I shampoo the carpet to get the acetone out of it. As I'm doing that I hear Stasa walk by the hall bathroom and say "Why's it all wet in here?" I poke my head in and catch Lexi elbow deep in the toilet. She had stuffed an entire container of diaper wipes in there and was playing in the water.


Message received, little one: you need more attention.

Tom and I decided to divide and conquer. We had errands to run, so I took Lexi with me and he took Stas and Tommy to Costco with him. I really played it up to Lexi that it was just the two of us and she loved it. We didn't even do anything fantastic - just a quick trip to Target and then the fabric store, but we did make a quick pitstop at the in-store Starbucks for a chocolate milk and "cake lowlypop" for her. She was in heaven.


Later in the week we switched it up and I took Stas and Tommallama and Tom took Lexi. We decided to get our errands done and then take them out to dinner. I had to make a trip to Sephora so we went to the town center. She was so much fun. We went to dinner first - her choice, cheese pizza and while we were waiting for it to be ready she watched them make fresh pasta. Then we went over to Sephora so I could pick up a new eyeshadow. Stasa was amazed at all of the makeup everywhere and got even more excited when she spotted a makeup counter with her name, Anastasia. I told her pick out some stuff and we'd play with the testers. She chose gold glitter eyeliner and sparkly pink lip gloss. The checkout lady gave her a bag just for her and we put some of the tester brushes in it. After that we stopped for some gelato and then headed back home.


Once home we found Tom and Lexi with a McDonald's meal. Apparently after their trip to Babies R Us he took them to like five different restaurants and left each one because all the Lexifer wanted was applesauce and none of the places had any (or the wait was too long). So he brought her home with some Mickey Dees and gave her applesauce only to have her say she didn't want any. LOL

I do think it helped a bit with the girls and it's something we enjoyed. We just need to find time to do this regularly.

Oh, Stasa. Poor Stasa.

The entire time I was pregnant with Alexia everyone would ask "What does Stasa think?!" and I'd always tell them she really has no clue what's going on. I mean she would lift my shirt, point to my belly and exclaim "baby!", but she would do the same thing to Tom and anyone else. I don't think she really got it until we actually brought Lexi home with us. 


Friends and coworkers told me how seeing Stasa with Alexia would melt my heart and they were right. It does melt my heart everytime Stasa gives Lexi kisses or asks to hold her or brings her a blanket. Stasa really is a caring and loving child and wants to share that love with everyone. But she's also a 2 year old toddler that's been the center of our world and now we've brought a bit of "competition" home with us. Talk about rocking your world.


I have to keep reminding myself it's only been a few days and who can expect a toddler to understand a big life change like this in just a few days. But there have been times this past weekend where I've forgotten all of that and wonder what we got ourselves into. It started our last hour at the hospital. Tom left to take some stuff down to the car before I was discharged and left me with both girls. The minute he walked out, Alexia started wailing, needing a diaper change. While I'm changing and trying to comfort her, Stasa runs over crying and yelling at me, saying "I poopy TOOOOO! Mommy, I poopy, too!!!!" And then she climbed up in the bed, laid down next to Lexi and insisted that I change her, too. And of course they were both still wailing at this point. It didn't help that Stas didn't get a nap at all that day. 


She wasn't much better once we got home - refused to eat dinner, threw random items at me and Tom, insisted on climbing in the swing and bouncer...thankfully she went down for bed without any problems.


The next morning she woke up, climbed in our bed and gave everyone a kiss, including Lexi. But then she was back to insisting that we change her and tried taking all of Lexi's blankets away. She got better as the day wore on, but was definitely still struggling. Today's she's back at daycare and we're hoping being back in her regular routine will help. All of that said, I think she's going to be a great big sister once she gets used to the idea of having Lexi around.